This was in our bulletin, at church, a couple of weeks ago.
1. By sharing the scriptures. Romans 14:4-5
Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. They give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God's promises. May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other-each with the attitude of Christ Jesus toward the other.
2. By your spoken words. Proverbs 16:24
Kind words are like honey-sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.
3. By writing! (That's what God did!)
4. By acts of kindness and self-sacrifice.
5. By expressing thankfulness and appreciation to a person!
6. By prayer.
7. By touch.
8. By listening.
9. Through a smile.
10. Through a gift.
11. Through your presence.
12. By examplifying courage and faith in your life. 1 Thessalonians 3:7
So we have been greatly comforted, dear brothers and sisters, in all of our own crushing troubles and suffering, because you have remained strong in your faith.
~Kathy
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
The Power of Forgiveness
Did you know forgiveness plays a very important role in our emotions, and how we live our lives?
I am currently doing a bible study, with a group, that's titled "Get Out of That Pit" by Beth Moore. If you have ever or are feeling trapped, in life, this is a great book to read. Up to the point we are at, in the book, the author has discussed the different ways you can get into a pit. You can of course throw yourself in through the things you do but you can also be thrown in by someone else's actions. And again, you can remain there by your actions even if you didn't throw yourself into it. I have been in a pit under both circumstances, as has the author.
Based on several healing topics and books, including this one, I have read, I have found that one of the greatest ways to get yourself, at least started out, of a pit is by forgiving, whether that is yourself or the person that threw you into the pit by their actions.
Believe me; I know how easy it is to say it’s too hard to forgive. I also know that there is a lot of misunderstand as to what it means to forgive. Being a survivor of abuse, by two people, has had me in all sorts of pits and on many emotional roller coasters. Not to mention the fears of what I had to do if I truly forgave.
But as I have worked on my healing and my climb out of pits, I have discovered a lot of facts and truth. First, did you know that the bible has 71 references to the word forgive and 17 to the word forgiveness? Check out www.blueletterbible.org to read some of them. Of course, I’m sure you know that God forgives us as soon as we ask Him too!? But He can’t forgive us if we refuse to forgive others because we are sinning by not forgiving too!
So with that in mind why can’t we forgive others?
I always thought that if I forgave then I would have to allow the person that hurt me, and would continue doing so, back into my life. Yes, I need to forgive and God wants me to forgive but He doesn’t want to see me be abused and/or hurt continually by that person. In fact, He doesn’t even expect me to tell them face to face that I forgive them, just to tell Him I do and to mean it.
Forgiving them would mean I was saying they didn’t actually do anything wrong. Forgiving is not doing away with another person’s guilt rather it is setting you free, free from the emotion caused by the pain and other feelings left behind. And don’t forget it’s not our place to judge and they have to answer to God one day!
I was the one that was bad; after all, I caused what happened to happen, so how can I forgive myself!? First and foremost, God knows we are not perfect and never expects us to be. Second, especially if you were abused, you had no control over your abusers actions. If you were like me, it wouldn’t have matter how you acted or what you did anyway. So blaming yourself and being unforgiving to you is just hurting yourself even more. Just ask God to forgive you for what you might have done wrong and for Him to help you forgive yourself.
How can I forgive if I still feel hurt? Forgiving can be a continual process, believe me. Every time I think I’ve forgiven, I have another memory or flashback and am feeling hurt, anger, and/or hatred all over again. So I just talk to God about the memory and feelings, and forgive again.
Based on personal experience; forgiving (and I mean truly forgiving) sets you free. A huge amount of weight is lifted from you. It’s like a light, at the end of the tunnel, or the opening of the pit, has been lit for you to find your way out. The emotions you feel are so much easier to handle and forgiving the next time you have a memory is so much easier. Not to mention that the emotions you feel at the time are so much easier to handle.
I’ve seen first hand, in myself, how holding on to emotions and not forgiving can control you. I spent much time sad, depressed, and alone and confused. It also put strain on the relationships I really cared about. Granted some of that time was when I was still in the abusive situation and unable to get away from it but a lot of it was trying to ignore and/or run away from it rather than deal with it. I was forced, for so long, to hide my feelings that when I started counseling and digging into my past my feelings went wild. I discovered feelings and truths I never knew existed, or at least didn’t remember them existing. And some of them were for those that let the abuse happen. Yes, it took a while to forgive but doing so is what truly lead me into the healing. NO, I’m still not completely healed but you know I really don’t think you ever are, after while it’s just more about knowing how to deal with the feelings and forgiving each time you need to.
I presently have to forgive others that were part of the past but not specifically the abuse because of how they act today, towards me and my family because of their lack of emotions and/or forgiveness for me or someone else.
I also see, first hand, how holding onto feelings and saying you can’t forgive can control a loved ones life! It’s not pretty. It’s sad and annoying. And believe me, you can’t talk to the person that is unwilling to forgive, I’ve tried. There is always an excuse and the same ones. Instead, all you can do is pray for healing and guidance as to how to help them heal and see how important forgiving is. Some times, you even need to ask for God to forgive you for your negative feelings towards the person if you have tried many times to talk to them and help them yet continue to see them letting unforgiveness run their lives to the point they feel they have nothing real to live for when they actually have everything to live for (that’s an entirely different topic LOL).
So who do you need to forgive? Or do you need to forgive yourself? If you can answer either question, pray to God for guidance. You can also leave me a message and I will help you pray. I’m also here to talk should you need a listening ear or a shoulder. I have felt God calling me to help others in their healing walk and want to follow that calling, so here I am!
~Kathy
I am currently doing a bible study, with a group, that's titled "Get Out of That Pit" by Beth Moore. If you have ever or are feeling trapped, in life, this is a great book to read. Up to the point we are at, in the book, the author has discussed the different ways you can get into a pit. You can of course throw yourself in through the things you do but you can also be thrown in by someone else's actions. And again, you can remain there by your actions even if you didn't throw yourself into it. I have been in a pit under both circumstances, as has the author.
Based on several healing topics and books, including this one, I have read, I have found that one of the greatest ways to get yourself, at least started out, of a pit is by forgiving, whether that is yourself or the person that threw you into the pit by their actions.
Believe me; I know how easy it is to say it’s too hard to forgive. I also know that there is a lot of misunderstand as to what it means to forgive. Being a survivor of abuse, by two people, has had me in all sorts of pits and on many emotional roller coasters. Not to mention the fears of what I had to do if I truly forgave.
But as I have worked on my healing and my climb out of pits, I have discovered a lot of facts and truth. First, did you know that the bible has 71 references to the word forgive and 17 to the word forgiveness? Check out www.blueletterbible.org to read some of them. Of course, I’m sure you know that God forgives us as soon as we ask Him too!? But He can’t forgive us if we refuse to forgive others because we are sinning by not forgiving too!
So with that in mind why can’t we forgive others?
I always thought that if I forgave then I would have to allow the person that hurt me, and would continue doing so, back into my life. Yes, I need to forgive and God wants me to forgive but He doesn’t want to see me be abused and/or hurt continually by that person. In fact, He doesn’t even expect me to tell them face to face that I forgive them, just to tell Him I do and to mean it.
Forgiving them would mean I was saying they didn’t actually do anything wrong. Forgiving is not doing away with another person’s guilt rather it is setting you free, free from the emotion caused by the pain and other feelings left behind. And don’t forget it’s not our place to judge and they have to answer to God one day!
I was the one that was bad; after all, I caused what happened to happen, so how can I forgive myself!? First and foremost, God knows we are not perfect and never expects us to be. Second, especially if you were abused, you had no control over your abusers actions. If you were like me, it wouldn’t have matter how you acted or what you did anyway. So blaming yourself and being unforgiving to you is just hurting yourself even more. Just ask God to forgive you for what you might have done wrong and for Him to help you forgive yourself.
How can I forgive if I still feel hurt? Forgiving can be a continual process, believe me. Every time I think I’ve forgiven, I have another memory or flashback and am feeling hurt, anger, and/or hatred all over again. So I just talk to God about the memory and feelings, and forgive again.
Based on personal experience; forgiving (and I mean truly forgiving) sets you free. A huge amount of weight is lifted from you. It’s like a light, at the end of the tunnel, or the opening of the pit, has been lit for you to find your way out. The emotions you feel are so much easier to handle and forgiving the next time you have a memory is so much easier. Not to mention that the emotions you feel at the time are so much easier to handle.
I’ve seen first hand, in myself, how holding on to emotions and not forgiving can control you. I spent much time sad, depressed, and alone and confused. It also put strain on the relationships I really cared about. Granted some of that time was when I was still in the abusive situation and unable to get away from it but a lot of it was trying to ignore and/or run away from it rather than deal with it. I was forced, for so long, to hide my feelings that when I started counseling and digging into my past my feelings went wild. I discovered feelings and truths I never knew existed, or at least didn’t remember them existing. And some of them were for those that let the abuse happen. Yes, it took a while to forgive but doing so is what truly lead me into the healing. NO, I’m still not completely healed but you know I really don’t think you ever are, after while it’s just more about knowing how to deal with the feelings and forgiving each time you need to.
I presently have to forgive others that were part of the past but not specifically the abuse because of how they act today, towards me and my family because of their lack of emotions and/or forgiveness for me or someone else.
I also see, first hand, how holding onto feelings and saying you can’t forgive can control a loved ones life! It’s not pretty. It’s sad and annoying. And believe me, you can’t talk to the person that is unwilling to forgive, I’ve tried. There is always an excuse and the same ones. Instead, all you can do is pray for healing and guidance as to how to help them heal and see how important forgiving is. Some times, you even need to ask for God to forgive you for your negative feelings towards the person if you have tried many times to talk to them and help them yet continue to see them letting unforgiveness run their lives to the point they feel they have nothing real to live for when they actually have everything to live for (that’s an entirely different topic LOL).
So who do you need to forgive? Or do you need to forgive yourself? If you can answer either question, pray to God for guidance. You can also leave me a message and I will help you pray. I’m also here to talk should you need a listening ear or a shoulder. I have felt God calling me to help others in their healing walk and want to follow that calling, so here I am!
~Kathy
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