One Year Later

Today, October 25, 2007, marks one year since I originally became ill. If you have not already done so you can read more about my illness in the “Awareness” posting.

While I am finally free of all infection, which I should point out didn’t happen till July, there are still a few things I am struggling with as the aftermath of the infection. The biggest issue is not having the energy I need to really accomplish things (something I really need to speak with my doctor about and possibly get some medication changes, as previous to becoming ill I battle depression). Probably the most annoying thing is the memory lapses I have when talking to people. I know what I’m trying to say and yet the word(s) has “vanished” from my mind and I end up struggling to finish whatever it was I was talking about. This can be really embarrassing to especially when talking to someone I don’t know, at all or very well. I feel like I look like an absent minded idiot. LOL

An infection as sever as I had takes a lot out of you and for a long time. My O.B. said, just last month, that it will be a long while before I am back to 100%. That being said I guess I need have patience but that can be hard. Not only was I physically ill but dealing with the fact I was so close to death and being so sick and unable to care for my girls as I felt I should be left me feeling emotionally and even spiritually drained.

Now don’t think I have nothing but depressing and negative things to say a year later. Not by a long shot. I have a lot to be thankful for and plenty of people to thank for all that was done to help my family and me.

First and foremost I have God to thank for saving me to begin with. Some may say I’m crazy. But I strongly feel it was God that wouldn’t let me rest, the night before I called the doctor and was told to go to E.R. Why? Because for the two days previous I did what the doctor’s (over the phone) told me to do…. Watch “it” because what I had sounded like the flu. Yeah, I could have “watched” it a few more hours but my husband would have come home from work, or even worse, my girls getting up, to find my unconscious or worse. I thank God for giving me the nagging feeling that it was urgent I call the doctors office. But God didn’t stop there. Do you realize that 70% of those that get TSS usually die? OK, yes medicine has improved greatly and there are some powerful drugs out there and yes I was one of the most powerful ones. But medicine alone isn’t always what heals us. God’s will for us does, you just have to believe. I am not finished on earth yet; if I were I would not be here to share this with you now. I don’t know yet what His plan is but I am looking forward to fulfilling it for Him! Of course this also means being better disciplined in my bible and prayer life!

I couldn’t have asked for a better support system. If I had had only family members to rely on we would have been in a world of hurt, but that’s another posting. LOL Knowing this, God gave us an even better family, a family made up of friends and our church family. Not only were the prayers being said but also had warm, home cooked meals brought to us for at least three weeks. Two very dear friends filled in as a taxi service for me so I could get to the doctor, when my husband wasn’t available, so I could get to church, when I was strong enough to go back, and more. My church family also paid for my youngest to go to preschool two days a week so she could get out of the house and I could get some quiet time to rest. There were so many things done, out of the kindness and generosity of those we know, and some we don’t, that we were able to have a nice Christmas for the girls. I tell you what if you want to know whom really and sincerely cares and loves you, you’ll find out when things get tough! And beware it’s not always those you think it would be or even should be.

So yes, there are things I am still struggling with, a year later, but there are many things to be thankful for and to celebrate. I think the big celebration will be Sunday. That marks the year date of being rushed to the hospital near death.

I pray that you never have to deal with being as sick as I was. But if you do know that I will pray for God to heal you in the same way he did me and to provide a wonderful support system for you as you heal. If you ever have a prayer request please do not hesitate to post it on this blog!

May God bless you and your family!